It was a normal Friday night in Oxford in March 2019. As usual, my flatmates and I decided to go out clubbing. This involved getting way too drunk in an attempt to forget life's troubles.
I had just lost my virginity earlier that year and, for some reason, I thought that gave me some sort…
It was 2015 and I was at a friend's 16th birthday party — think plastic cups, girls in an assortment of flammable PrettyLittleThing dresses and a palpable ignorance to the effects of alcohol on the body.
My ambition for the night was to “get some”. I didn’t care who or how, I just wanted some…
They say a woman’s intuition is never wrong, but I believe a horny man’s is far superior. I’d barely thought of T for the past month, feeling vaguely pleased with his lack of interaction. I’d relaxed at the thought of his absence, relieved by his slow fading from my life.
T seemed to possess clairvoyant…
“I just wasted a condom.” That was the text I received after ditching my holiday hookup when things started to get a little bit… uncomfortable.
A few hours earlier, I’d arrived at my hostel in the south of Brazil. As a solo traveller I was keen to make as many friends as possible, so I…
New Year’s Day 2017—purposely a day of celebration, but always the worst day of the year. Why do we always bring in a fresh calendar of opportunities with a raging headache and a glass of Berocca? Why can’t we celebrate anything nice without inflicting dozens of tiny tequila stabs to the liver? Do we actually…
It was late afternoon on a bright summer’s day and punters were out in their droves, seeking beer gardens in which to soak up the sun. I slouched against the wall of the pub we’d agreed to meet at, as the minutes stretched into a just-about-forgivable eight-minute tardiness.
The longer I awaited my Tinder date’s…
In my first year of university, I was (like most people) a bit of a poser. Still am.
One evening in Spring, I’d just bought a super-fake Chanel short suit from Zara - and I was so proud I went to sit in the British Film Institute Southbank lobby to get noticed. And noticed I…
Looking back, perhaps I shouldn’t have met the parents of my (now ex-) boyfriend of a month-and-a-half that early into ‘officialdom’. We had met through a pretentious university society, and I didn’t actually have anything in common with him. But he was supposed to be my first ‘proper relationship’, and I thought being introduced to…
my worst nude
I was determined not to go out every Wednesday during my third year of university. I should have been aiming for the highest grade I could possibly get, not getting home at 3am with doner kebab leaking in my bag. But lo and behold, there were only two Wednesday nights throughout the year that I…